Tuesday, July 29, 2014


I was driving home on the expressway two weeks ago when the song “Cupid” by 112 came on the radio.  My ex _____'s favorite group is 112 and he’d sing “Cupid” to me over the phone before I went to sleep.  He said it was appropriate for me because my birthday is in February.  If you’re not familiar with the song, here is the video.

It’s amazing how simple triggers can set off emotions you’ve thought you dealt with.  Tears welled up when I remembered the last time _____ sang “Cupid” to me.  We were sitting together listening to music on my iPad when it came up in the rotation. 

“Girl, if I told you I love you
That doesn't mean it that I don't care.”

I could feel his left arm around me as he held my left hand with his right.

“And when I tell you I need you

Don't you think that I'll never be there.”


I remembered the smell of his cologne, the minty smell of his breath.

“Cupid doesn't lie

But you won't know unless you give it a try.

Oh baby, true love won't lie

But we won't know unless we give it a try.”

I remembered the sparkle in his eyes, the gentleness of his kiss….And then the brake lights of the car in front of me interrupted my daydream and I concentrated on my driving. 

_____ stayed on my mind over the next several days.  I found myself replaying our conversations in my head and re-reading email messages I’d saved.  _____ sending an email to me last Wednesday sent me over the edge.  Had he come to his senses?  Did he realize his error in ending our relationship?  Would I finally get the happy ending I’d been praying for? 

I confided in my friend April about what I was experiencing, and thank God for friends who give you needed reality checks.

“Fluffy, are you settling? Let go of the little teddy bear.”

April was referring to a photo I sent to her a few months ago.

_____ is the little teddy bear, and Jesus has a bigger one for me – the man who will be my husband.  But I can’t receive him until I let _____ go.  God, please help me to let him go. I want to give you the little teddy bear.
Question:  What do you need to give to God - and not take back?
Scripture:  Jeremiah 29:11



  1. Amen! We only see our current situation and God knows the beginning through the end. It's common for us to say "If I only knew then, what I know now...." This situation will only make you wiser. Jesus is close to the brokenhearted. The waiting doesn't get any easier but, it's worth it. I learned that my past impatience, showed how unprepared I was to go to the next level. We are prone to having adult tantrums with God. That's what I call them lol.

    God hasn't ran out of creativity. No, you don't have to meet the guy of your dreams the way you always planned in your head. God has that all figured out.

  2. One day at a time. :-) Thank you for your comments and encouragement.