Sunday, November 15, 2015


My Assistant Director Bethanie had to have emergency surgery and has been on medical leave since October 1st.  I call her just about every day to lift her spirits, just as she did for me when I broke my shoulder last year.  We were having one of our girl talks last Wednesday when my cell phone went off loudly.

“Fluffy, isn’t that your phone?  You can answer it and call me back.”

“Oh, it’s just Avant sending a text.”

“Bless his pitiful, slow heart. He needs to admit he wants to be with you and stop playing.  What is he saying?”

I glanced at the phone, shook my head and smiled.

“He didn’t like my response to his earlier text.  He sent one this morning saying to have a nice time when I see his “girl” Janet Jackson tonight, but to keep it holy.  I replied back that I was wearing a mini skirt and six inch heels.”

“Girl shut up!  Why you mess with his head like that?  And you know dat gum well you can’t walk in no six inch heels.”

“Well he started it and I want him to have a mental picture of what he’s missing – Janet and Miss Fluffy.”

Avant often teased me about having “a thing” for Vin Diesel, El DeBarge, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Howard Hewett and Prince.  And then he slipped and I learned he has “a thing” for Miss Jackson.  Hmmm, maybe I’ll write about that in the future.

“No, Fluffy, it’s my fault – all of it.  I should have shut him down when he first approached me about you that summer.  I don’t know what you said or did to that boy, but Girl you messed him up.  He was on a mission.”

Yes, I remember.  His initial contact with me could have been crafted by Musiq Soulchild himself.  It went a little something like this:
Girl, I know this might seem strange
But let me know if I am out of order
For stepping to you this way
See I've been watching you for a while
And I just gotta let you know
That I'm really feeling your style Oh
'Cause I had to know your name
And leave you with my number
And I hope that you would call me someday
If you want to you can give me yours too
And if you don't well I ain't mad at you
~ “Just Friends”
“Beth, there is nothing to be sorry for.  We had some nice moments, but it is what it is.”

“But Fluffy, men are just plain stupid.  But you’re right, you don’t wait for him.  Plus you have Rico trying to talk to you.  You tell Avant about him?”

Tell the ex about the new guy talking to me?  Only if he tells me about the chick he took to the 100 Black Men Gala when I had a broken shoulder.  And she had the nerve to wear my favorite color. But I digress……

“We don’t talk about things like that, Beth.”

And then my cell phone goes off again, but this time it’s a call.

“Let me guess, he’s calling because you didn’t text him back? He probably wants to pray that Rahab spirit off you.”

“You got jokes, but don’t forget Jesus came from Rahab’s bloodline.”

“Yeah whatever.  Tell Avant I said he needs to listen to Jagged Edge and meet you at the altar in your white dress.  He ain’t gettin’ no younger, he might as well do this.  And then needs to do like Beyonc√© said and put a ring on it because you need to bust out 3 or 4 kids before you hit 50.”

As much as I wanted her words to be true, I knew the emotional danger of entertaining those thoughts.
A wounded heart you gave
My soul you took away
Good intentions you had many
I know you did
I come from a place that hurts
And God knows how I've cried
And I never want to return
Never fall again
~ Janet Jackson’s “Again”

I waited a few minutes before I called him back.

“You rang My Lord?”

“Lady Fluffy, you cannot dress like that going to see Janet.  You know you don’t dress like that – that’s not you.  How you gonna walk in six inch heels?”

He tried to sound stern, but his tone was playful

“Easy.  I’ll wear flats and put them on once we get to our seats.”

“And a mini skirt?  With your legs all out?  That style of dress is unbecoming to a Woman of God. And I’m sure your Pastor has something to say about his Elders dressing like that.”

“Elders?  I guess you’ve never seen my 1st Lady, huh?”

I let him go off for a few moments before I said I wasn’t wearing very high heels.  I didn’t comment about the mini-skirt, though.

“Well Bless His name, you are still a Good Girl. So……. you said we.  Are you going with Denise, Marti and April to the concert?

He always tries to be so slick, trying to find out who I’m spending time with. I’ve gotten used to it by now.

“No, just my friend and me.”

“Your friend???”

There was a long pause, and I heard Avant take a deep breath.

“Oh, okay…….Fluffy, have a nice time tonight.  You deserve it and a whole lot more.”

The earlier playfulness was absent from his voice, in fact his tone was actually deeper.

“Can I ask one thing?”

“Yes… can.”

"Would you take a picture of her for me?”

Had our journey taken a different path, Avant would have been my date – instead of a family friend, Tina.

Question:  What song best describes a current or past relationship?
Scripture:  Philippians 3:13-14


  1. I couldn't help but to laugh at the "Rahab spirit". That was a good one. I compliment you on being able to keep him as a friend especially when at one point you wanted more. Great pictures too!